An Amazing Change

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An Amazing Change

This week, I have stuck to my plan. I spent my days in the studio creating and dreaming. I even got an extra day because my husband was out of the house! Studio days are definitely my priority. Writing and blogging days will have to take second place to that. I make no apologies. My heart is truly with my art–whether it’s to learn more about it, experiment, or create. I have found a passion in the glass and gilding arts that I have never experienced with other art forms.

It was actually not the easiest decision to make to spend so much time “away” from my family and house obligations. Not obligations….responsibilities, maybe? I have been a stay at home mom for so many years and to make that work I have always looked at doing that as a JOB. It is my job to make sure things run smoothly, my job to cook and clean and make sure the kids have done what they are supposed to do. I know that’s not a popular way these days to look at things, but that’s how I roll.

My husband goes out and does his job, which makes the money and that’s his contribution to the family. I stay home and run the house and that’s my contribution to the family. Outwardly, it probably appears to be very old fashioned, and in many ways I suppose it is. I don’t ever expect my husband to cook or clean–and to be fair, he is a very tidy person who never, ever leaves messes. He willingly makes the bed everyday because I would leave that shit a total mess! Ha! He even squeezes the toothpaste from the bottom and he doesn’t say a word when I squeeze it from the middle….nope, he just squeezes it all back up. So everyday of my life, I have a perfect toothpaste with which to brush my teeth, which I promptly destroy with my willy-nilly middle squeeze. LMAO! He doesn’t even complain that I am a bad housekeeper.

I got off on a tangent there….

So, because I feel like I have all these responsibilities, I tend to look at my art time as a luxury–something that can be put off until your job is complete, and something you can only indulge in your spare time. Well, as most stay at home mom’s know–there is no such thing as this mythical “spare time” you speak of. You are always in work mode because there is always something you could be doing around the house or with the kids.

This has taken me lots of time to wrap my head around. Somedays I fail at it. My kids are old enough to watch themselves and be responsible for their own schoolwork and chores. They can feed themselves and cook unsupervised. I don’t know why I felt the need to cling to my “responsibilities” when in reality, it’s better for me and them if I take the step back and do my thing and allow them to learn a valuable life skill–responsibility of their own. It’s a total win-win situation.

So this week, I experimented and gained some valuable knowledge that makes creating the art I dream of making much more of a possibility. Glass gilding is one of those things. There is very little information out there. There are a few books. A few videos. There are a handful of artists who do it, and do it well, in English speaking countries. Maybe a few handfuls of artists. And I speak of those who are truly doing it–using real gold and silver. I want to be one of them, and I will be. It won’t happen overnight. I just have to keep going, keep learning and I will get there!

Overall, spending 3 days (about 5 hours each day) in my studio has been a blessing to my mental and emotional state. I feel like a big weight is lifted that I didn’t even realize was there. I have to assume it is my need to be creative being bottled up that’s like a monkey on my back. So I am very motivated to keep this going. Keep making my studio time a priority. Keep making writing and blogging a secondary priority. Keep making myself a priority–because it is an amazing change. Now I just have to avoid the habit of putting everything else in front of myself.

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